FEAR NEVER CREATES LOVE
When a child is born his first experience is not an experience of love. What a child experiences when he is born is fear. This is natural. The small child was very comfortable in his mother’s womb where he had no problems, no worries about earning his living, eating, schooling, worshiping idols, – no worries. He was resting in a very blissful sleep. When he comes out of the mother’s womb the small child, weak in every way, his first experience is of fear. And if he gets a shock of fear he will not feel love towards the first person he sees, he will be afraid of that person. And if he is afraid of someone he will start to hate them.
Take this as a basic principle: fear never creates love. If someone says that there can be no love without fear, their statement is completely wrong. If there is fear, there is no possibility of love. There can never be love with fear. Even if love is shown superficially there is no love inside. Most of the love that we see in this world is based on fear – fear of loneliness, fear of bankruptcy, fear of judgment by others and so forth. And a love that is based on fear is false. That’s why on the surface there is love but hatred keeps slipping out from inside. In this case, you also hate the person you love. Love is on the surface and hatred is below because you are afraid of people.
Remember this: a person who intimidates others is missing the opportunity to receive love. If the father is intimidating his son he will not be able to get his love. If a husband is intimidating his wife he will not be able to get her love. He will get a pretense of love but he won’t get love because love grows only in fearlessness, it doesn’t grow in fear.
As soon as a child is born he experiences fear – and that’s where the source of hatred is activated. The energy source of love is not activated. Most people die without this source ever becoming activated because life doesn’t give it a chance. Sometimes you think you love someone: that is also not love, it is only lust. That is only lust – it is not authentic love. Love can grow only through meditation.
This is why the source of love and friendliness within one has to be developed first before love can happen. It has to be developed in spite of all the primitive instincts which don’t give it a chance to develop. The life that we lead doesn’t allow it to grow well, only hatred is developed. And what we call friendliness is only hypocrisy and politeness. Your friendliness is only an arrangement to escape from hatred, to avoid it – but it is not friendliness.
Friendliness is a completely different thing. How can you develop –that Source? How can feelings of authentic friendliness begin to happen within you? You have to constantly create a milieu of friendliness around yourself. A message of friendliness has to be instinctively conveyed to all the people who are around you. Waves of friendliness have to be sent out and generously so. And inside yourself you have to give it intense energy, you have to activate that space of friendliness.